TRAVELS WITH YODA PART VI

TRAVELS WITH YODA PART VI So far it’s been a busy summer for Yoda and me. We’ve been doing what other aging “Rock Stars” do this time of year and have been doing a “tour” of sorts. We titled our little summer adventure the “Too Young for Social Security and Medicare, Not Blind or Messed-up Enough for Disability” tour. (The logistics and putting all of that on a T-shirt was a nightmare.) We’re a little more “bare bones” than the other tours. We don’t have semi’s full of equipment and “roadies” to schlep everything to all of the Indian Casino’s, Branson and the “One Night Only” shows in Vegas and Reno lounges the way the other people do but we still have our followers. In years past we had our share of groupies asking us to sign all sorts of body parts. These days we still have our groupies. A few still want to date Yoda and the rest of them still want my autograph…albeit on a medical form to remove or fix something on or in my body. It used to be a turn-on to have a woman request I take off my clothes, it would lead me to believe we were heading in an interesting direction. Now when I hear that all I feel is dread wondering what sinister plan is up their sleeve… or worse. It would suffice to say we’ve been on the road a lot lately and haven’t had the opportunity to check in as much as we would have liked to. Yoda has already grown tired of doing parlor tricks for people like levitating vehicles and such. Every waiting room looks just like the other ones for me now. Even the people somehow all look the same. The only saving grace is we haven’t had the stage rushed by a bunch of Q-tips in vintage rock t-shirts wanting to throw their DEPENDS up to us… I’d never be able to sleep again if they did. Everyone still dances around flicking their Bic’s which, strangely enough hasn’t stood the test of time as well as we might have thought. Since way back then fire codes have gotten stricter and equipment has gotten more sensitive so the occasional unexpected shower happens now and then. The bill for trashing a waiting room is a lot more than a hotel room back then too. The dance moves we thought were so cool back then look a little spastic in this day and age and could cause you to get an unexpected new med (and quite possibly a new ensemble) when you finally see the doctor. We seldom encounter the paparazzi these days. We leave most of the photo shooting to the X-ray technicians as a general rule. Other than that unfortunate night when Yoda had one too many margarita’s and did his light saber act naked we’ve been forced to pose for a camera phone or two but that’s been just about it. The tour is far from over for the summer so be on the lookout for us at a hospital or medical center near you soon.