AND DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WE GO…AGAIN

Maybe it’s just the time of year or maybe it’s more cerebral than that…I don’t know. Yet it seems like just as spring starts to approach I find people waxing nostalgic about some of the damndest stuff which suddenly becomes suffocatingly important to revisit. It’s as if they’re going to have an epiphany that will put all of the puzzle pieces together or explain some unanswered question from the past they’ve always wondered about. Something Earth shatteringly important like why so and so didn’t invite me to the prom or why “she” said no.
As you well know, I’ve been forced to analyze this and a great deal more lately and I won’t bore you with what I’ve discovered so far…I’m sure it’s not your bedtime yet. Not only that, it’s not all that interesting or important to anyone (including me).
Right out of the chute I’m going to drop the “non-bomb” on all of you just to see if you made it through the first two paragraphs intact. It’s a “non-bomb” because it’s not a secret in any way, shape or form. Anyone who has known me for more than five minutes already knows this. My family knows this (although they will feign shock and surprise in a few moments) and has treated it more like the military’s “don’t ask don’t tell” program (another rousing success for government stupidity and inept situational management as we know it.).
I am a swinger. I have been so most of my adult life with a few “sabbaticals” here and there for reasons I won’t get into right now. You can now feign shock, surprise, disbelief and whatever else here… Times up, let’s move on.
Over the years I’ve had some glorious experiences with some of the most intensely sexy and interesting people a person can ever want to meet. I have also been witness to some heartbreaking calamities and unnecessarily vindictive attacks on good-hearted people who deserved better. They harmed no one. They threatened no one and represented no danger of any kind to anyone…including themselves.
A few years back I had the unfortunate displeasure to have ring side seats as the City of Phoenix spent a great deal of time and money trying to shut down Swing Clubs in the city…more to the point one particular club. It was quite a circus executed with all of the tactical precision of a Keystone Cops movie complete with a plainclothes cop diving head first into the backseat of an unmarked car as it sped away from the court house after one of several court appearances everyone had to endure.
To say the clubs lost would be an understatement. The City’s pockets were much deeper that the owners of the clubs and besides…the City could lay off people if they needed the extra cash (strangely enough they did try and reduce police and fire personnel a short time after the dust settled.). The people who were quick to pat the owners on the back for having such great clubs were a little less enthusiastic about saying or doing anything about what was going on, much less open their wallet and help.
The landscape of the valley changed overnight and people would sit in bars and hotel banquet rooms talking about “What If”. “What if” someone did this or that, “What if” someone had done this or that? I would often hear questions like this, especially around this time of year. I would get approached about opening a new club and all of these people would finance it and blah, blah, blah. Great fantasy but no thanks, I have no interest in doing something if it can’t be done right to begin with.
The State of Arizona recently trotted out a piece of legislation for a test drive to see if there was any interest in it, if anyone would back it and if it would help anyone get elected or re-elected. It’s basically the same group of wet dream laws and ordinances the City of Phoenix used to close the clubs with the same unsubstantiated “facts” and accusations but the State wants to go after all Adult Oriented businesses. Some people giggle and think it’s not likely to happen but they fail to take into consideration…this is Arizona. We’re the leaders in wacky, half-baked laws no one would imagine passing.
So what happens if this new law actually gets passed? Probably nothing really in the long run just more businesses will close. Fewer taxes will be collected so roads won’t get built or repaired as quickly, schools will close because districts can’t afford to keep them open and pay their teachers what they’re really worth. More people will get laid off. Parks will close, cultural events will be cancelled and who knows what else. But look on the bright side…you helped keep some construction worker (assuming he’s still employed) from getting a table dance on Friday night at a tittie bar that doesn’t exist anymore.
I don’t know why so and so didn’t go to the prom with me so many years ago and quite honestly I’m pretty sure I don’t care either. I don’t know why the eighties fashions hung on as long as they did…maybe it was the drugs. The one thing I do know is the end of the rabbit hole is getting closer. I can see the light and once I get there I have a choice or two to make. As honorable as I thought my intentions were the last time I came down this way I’m not sure I want to try and repeat it hoping for a different outcome. That’s insanity.
Time for me to land…see you in the tunnels.