We're Baaaaaack!

We've been away for a while dealing with life, family and medical issues. Starting today we'll be posting fun and interesting things on, pretty much, every day.
Be on the lookout and we hope you enjoy it!

Let's Talk About Wraps

I’m not talking about those things you eat when you’re trying to be healthy or avoid yeast. I’m talking about a financial tool that many people have either never heard of or have avoided because they’ve heard they’re evil and/or illegal. Some years ago that may have been true and could have very easily gotten people in a lot of trouble with their mortgage company causing them to be suddenly homeless.
This isn’t the case these days as long as you play by the rules and have people do things the right way for you. In short form here’s what a wrap is and how they work:
A wrap is an “Agreement for Sale” where the buyer agrees to complete the agreement by re-financing the property by or on a given date (typically five, seven or ten years from the date of the agreement) for the balance of the existing note at which time the buyer is given title to the property. During the agreement period the buyer has “Equity Title” to the property meaning as the property value increases during that period that value transfers to the buyer upon completion of the agreement. As an example, a property is currently worth $150,000.00 but the current owners owe $200,000.00 so an agreement is drawn up that the sellers will sell the property to the buyers for $200,000.00 with the agreement to be completed five years from the date of the agreement. At the end of that period the appraised value of the property is now $225,000.00. Once the deal is complete the buyer gets clear title to the property and $25,000 in equity right from the beginning.
What are the advantages to doing something like this? Well… if you’re a seller it would keep you from going upside down on your property causing you to walk away from it and have your credit ruined. It would also give you some positive cash flow during the agreement period. The monthly payment is based on the $200,000.00 figure so after the current mortgage payment and taxes are paid each month the difference goes to the current owner. If there was down payment money over and above all of the costs of the transaction then they have that to look forward to as well.
If you’re a buyer it means you don’t have to qualify for a loan right away giving you a chance to clean up your credit so you can qualify when the time comes. There are also tons of people like waitresses, bartenders, entertainers, sales people (and even realtors) who work on commission or a cash basis that make it difficult to qualify for a home loan. Let’s face it…most everyone has been affected by the dismal economy we’ve had to endure the past few years to one degree or another. For many people this may be the only way they can purchase a home again for many years to come. Like anything else though it’s not entirely simple and something everyone can do. It would require a buyer to come in with more cash than they might if they were trying to purchase a home these days. Typically you would come in with roughly 5% down for financing under “normal” circumstances. With a wrap that could increase 10-15% or more. A large amount of that would go to covering your transaction costs and possibly any back payments, but many sellers expect (and deserve) to see some cash in their pockets to cover their own expenses (like moving) right away.
Are there down sides to all of this? Yes, on both sides. For the sellers there’s the risk the buyers would default on the agreement. The buyers could also damage the property.
The upside to that is that it’s an agreement not a lease and no deed has been recorded yet. They can be evicted much quicker and cheaper that you can a renter (usually 30-45 days) plus you still have the house and can re-sell it again, plus you have had your mortgage paid during that time frame and picked up a little extra cash as well. A servicing company will always be mandated to receive the payment from the buyer and distribute the funds to the current mortgage, taxes, insurance and any leftover funds to the seller. This protects both buyer and seller so that no disputes arise as to whether a payment was made or not and also eliminates funds not making it to the proper places at the right time. Also the sellers would have to continue to make the homeowners insurance during the agreement period which (as noted above) would be paid through the existing mortgage servicing company.
For the buyers they need to make sure that when the time comes they can qualify for a new loan. Since it’s an agreement and they only have equity title on the house they can’t borrow money against it for any reason. They can make all of the home improvements they want to the property… just out of their own pocket. A new pool would have to wait until after the agreement is completed. Any major improvements (like an extra room) would require approval from the current owner and possibly the HOA (if there is one). Since the buyers don’t legally own the home yet they would have to have “Content Insurance” (renters insurance) to cover their personal belongings from fire and theft which is something they’d have to plan for.
If the current note is an FHA loan there are quite a few more forms that will need to be signed with the agreement but it can be done, it just takes a little longer. VA and Conventional notes are a little easier on the paperwork but all three aren’t opposed to doing wraps and neither are most lenders these days. In fact some lenders welcome them rather than have to deal with a short sale or foreclosure.
Are wraps right for everyone and/or every situation? Absolutely not, but they are right for more people than anyone might think. The best way to find out is to talk to someone like me and let us work through your personal situation. If we can’t go down that route we may be able to come up with an alternative situation.

Spring Has Sprung...Again

It seems you can always tell when Spring gets here. You don't have to look at a calendar. You don't even have to go outside or check the weather. You don't have to do much of anything really because the same things happen like clockwork every year.
We've been in this lifestyle longer than many of the people who read this blog have been alive. Yet March invariably brings out the same thing. The styles change a little as does the tactics and delivery but, what many of us who has been around for a while kiddingly call, "Swingers Spring Fever" hits.
Like the Tennyson poem claiming that when Spring arrives "...a young man's fancy turns to love." Swingers seem to turn their sights on new connections and experiences...and it isn't just the men who seem to get those urges these days. Maybe it's a way to re-connect with days gone by or maybe it's a way to obtain those days we never had for whatever reason. I don't know and I'm pretty sure it's too personal a question for everyone to want to know.
Never the less our e-mail boxes all started filling up mid-March with notes from people we haven't heard from in ages, never heard from before or, possibly, never wanted to hear from to begin with. It doesn't seem to matter if they've been around for a long time or just decided to give it a try the urge to make contact takes over us like contact junkies in trying to get their fill of an addictive drug. People suddenly forget how to read and frantically send notes to others who might have only remote similarities to themselves...but the pictures look appealing. The interests are on another planet...but the pictures look good. The age ranges are nowhere to even remotely close...but...you get the picture.
This is also the time of year where people,caught up in the momentum, try and sneak under the radar with less than honorable reasons. Single and married men used to be the culprits in years past. Single women have seldom, if ever, had to explore that tactic but, married women have closed the gap somewhat over the past few years.
Single people pretending to be in a relationship or married, married people pretending to be single, couples saying they're looking for new horizons when only one of them actually is, older pretending to be younger, not so fit pretending to be fit and so on.
As a fun example of the dozen or so we get each week this time of year. We got one from a "Single" woman who wanted to play just with the Mrs. OK...not an unusual or potentially out of bounds in our house but rather than respond back right away we did a little digging. We found her profile on three different sites with the same few pics of her (she is attractive BTW) on the site she contacted us on it was pretty straightforward. The other two, however, included deep in the profile text what she failed to mention on thatfirst site. She was in fact married, her husband would be present (preferably him only watching)when they played and if the urge struck them all he'd join in when the girls were done getting each other off. HMMMMMMMMMMM
Another was from a couple whose sexual preferences were decidedly NOT in our wheelhouse nor did they even have a pic of themselves but were convinced we'd all get along famously. Again HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
It was bad enough they paid no attention to the verbage in our profile but to include the note that they're not HOMOPHOBIC (no shit...in Caps)about such things to a couple, which one of them has a decidedly bisexual orientation, isn't exactly sending out a signal we'd get along at all.
C'mon people! We know your hormones and sexual urges have just come out of hibernation again but stop and think before you hit send. All you're going to do is frustrate the recipient and probably yourself. Close is one thing. Not on the radar is something else entirely. And...regardless if you're experienced, inexperienced, young, old, purple, green or whatever. Whether you like it or not...a picture still says a thousand words and since this is a lifestyle where attraction isn't necessarily the only thing, but it is the most important thing. You can come up with a million excuses why you don't post or provide pics on profiles or e-mails but the simple fact is...few, if any, are valid ones.
As for you pretenders out there...you'll discover that if you're honest you'll get respect. It may not get you all of the action you'd like to get but what you do get will be quality and might lead to bigger and better things for you much quicker...not only that...the rst of us won't have to use the DELETE button quite as much.

Show Us Your Spirit(s)

Several sites have popped up lately that ask people to post pictures of themselves posing with their favorite adult beverage (usually wine). We think that's a great idea but why stop there?
People in our Lifestyle know how to party better than anyone out there and, even though wine is probably the most popular, why should we limit this to one particular item.
SO CUM ONE, CUM ALL!
Send us your hottest pic posing with your favorite beverage of choice to administrator@arizonalifestyles.org along with a statement of age, general location and permission to post along with a brief blurb on what, when, where and why you enjoy that drink and we'll post it as soon as we can!

Help a Neighbor

The villages of Sonoita and Elgin were recently torn apart from hail storms. By all reports the hail size ranged up to golf ball sized and was massive in its reach across the area damaging crops and anything else in its path.
“Why is this of any importance?” You’re probably asking. The Sonoita/Elgin area is the heart of southern Arizona’s wine region…yes we have one (several actually), and yes they’re very good.
The decimation of the grape crops has been, by most accounts, so complete that a half dozen or so (out of a little over nearly thirty statewide) of the area’s vineyards will not produce wine this year, The few that are going to try will be producing limited varieties and a few are going to attempt to make nothing more than a rose’ this year to maximize the crop yield. Some will purchase grapes from outside vineyards in the Willcox area (another excellent wine region that was untouched by the storm) and some may go as far as California for additional product.
The northern Arizona wine region in the Cottonwood/Sedona area, while strong and untouched by weather issues, currently only produce enough grapes to meet their normal production levels and can spare little to be sold as bulk to outside wineries.
The current mantra for many people these days trying to live healthier more responsible lives is to “Buy local and support the nearby farmers and ranchers.”, and, the often over used term, “sustainable”. At times like this when “neighbors” probably need us the most we should probably be seeking them out the most. As I understand it customers of many of these vineyards have shown up unannounced bearing rakes, shovels and other implements to help salvage what can be for this year and prepare the vines as much as they can for next year. Many of us may not have the time or physical ability to do something like that but we may be able to make a day trip or two to one or more of the vineyards and purchase some excellent (and in many cases multiple award winning) wine from someone who may become a future friend as well.
For those who can’t travel easily places like BevMo, AJ’s, Total Wine, AZ Wine and Sportman’s have wonderful local wine sections at reasonable prices.
For information on all of the vineyards here in Arizona you can contact the Arizona Vines and Wines at http://arizonavinesandwines.com

MIRROR, MIRROR

A little over a year ago I was talked into getting on FACEBOOK as a social networking tool for my business and I did get a few business contacts from it.
What surprised me was all of the people from my past who magically appeared from out of the woodwork one day. Junior High, High School, College friends and ex-girlfriends, people I had worked with at one time or another and Lifestyle friends and playmates long since forgotten.
In an odd way it was interesting to hear from them. In many ways it was a surreal look through a magic mirror to another time and place I’m not sure I wanted to re-visit.
Someone had posted a question on the Forums in one of my favorite swing sites asking “Has the Lifestyle made you a better person?” They went on to explain they had gotten on to FACEBOOK and had encountered friends from the past, much like I and everyone else on there has, and how he had noticed how much he had changed and yet many of his past compatriots had “let themselves go” or didn’t seem as happy as he was. He was wondering out loud if the Lifestyle had something to do with it.
My response to him was short and probably incomplete, partially because I might say too much but probably more because there wasn’t an easy answer to that on my part.
I had jumped into the Lifestyle at the ripe old age of nineteen. Because of my life experiences up to that point, looking back on it, I seemed to be pre-disposed to have gotten into it. It always felt to be the right place for me to be. There always happens an experience or event in a person’s life that deep down inside you know is the right thing to do and the Lifestyle was one of them for me.
Back then perhaps only a half dozen of my high school classmates shared that feeling (that I was aware of) and college didn’t significantly add to those numbers right away. Now here I am looking at pictures of these people and their families nearly forty years later and wondering…why?
Looking good was always important to me. Not for any vain or egotistical reasons. I just felt better dressing well and staying in shape. Something I still do to this day (give or take a few times dictated by health issues). It was already part of the way I was before I got into the Lifestyle. I couldn’t help but notice how those things became important only after they had done so for many of the people who responded to that forum question.
I looked at the pictures and read the accounts of the lives of the people in my FACEBOOK account and realized that, with the exception of a very few, I had nothing in common with these people anymore. Has my life been so much better than theirs? Probably not…just different. We had been held together by geography before. Now we had different life experiences, goals, ideals and probably different dreams than we once had. They weren’t bad or unfortunate people. They just weren’t the people I knew back then (assuming I knew them that well to begin with),
My best friend in junior high school with whom I raised more than a little hell with and compared notes with while we were learning about sex with our girlfriends back then…is now a minister in a small town in the Northwest and has been for a little over thirty years. My life is as foreign to him as his is to mine these days. We have great respect for each other but the two kids who blew up a telephone pole one afternoon and felt our first naked females don’t exist anymore. Likewise many of the women I dated and/or played with. Many have fond memories of the wild things we did but “couldn’t possibly imagine doing those things now”.
Has the Lifestyle made me a better person? I doubt it. The Lifestyle has never been a charitable endeavor or a philanthropic foundation. Nor has it been a character building experience. Did it lay the foundation for who I am today? Very much so. It allowed me to be ME with very little compromise for the majority of my adult life. The few compromises I did have to make were ones I willingly made knowing what the consequences (if any) would have been.
I don’t have the same hair style I did in high school (duh). I don’t wear the same style of clothing I did, eat the same food, listen to the same music, have the same opinions, same friends and playmates, the same look on life or the same interests I had back then. Did the Lifestyle have anything to do with that? Not as much as one might think (if at all). Chances are that would have happened regardless.
Did the Lifestyle provide me with a road map for my life experiences that fill the volumes of my memories…absolutely. Those may not have happened without it.
The FACEBOOK experience may have opened my eyes or even caused me to take a good look at myself. What it didn’t do was cause me to fall through the looking glass and end up in an Otherworldly Universe.

DISGUSTING!

Two weekends ago we had our monthly meet & greet at Terroir Wine Pub. As usual it was a big hit and we thank you all (we most of you) for comming.
We did however have a few incidents that are still causing steam to come out of my ears and field more than a few e-mails of people registering shock and disgust over the couple of things that happened. So much so that for the first time ever I'm going to address these issues here. In part to get them off of my chest and in part to make a few things perfectly clear but before I dig into the meat of the matter let me lay out a few of the rules we are all governed by when it comes to meet & greets and other public or semi public events.
In the state of Arizona the way the liquor laws are written you may not at any time have nudity or partial nudity where alcohol is being sold and served. This means that, although it's fun and visually thrilling, you CANNOT at any time flash body parts at people or incite a group grope... even in a tight circle of people. You CANNOT participate in any form of public sex and crowding into a bathroom doesn't count as a private space. Restrooms are still considered a public space available to patrons of the establishment and required by law to be available to ALL patrons of that establishment. Locking the door to do anything other than what restrooms are designed for you to do is rude and inconsiderate of your fellow partiers. The lines are long enough without adding to the frustration.
The staff at any place selling alcohol have been trained to identify potential violations of their license and interceed before it happens as much as possible. Depending on the size of the venue those taskes may be delegated to security staff, a manager or owner and in many venues the waitstaff may also be included. The point is...there is always going to be someone looking for problems that could potentially shut them down and/or cause them the loss of their license and livelyhood.
NOW THE REASON FOR MY ANGER:
WE've all been to one meet & greet or another over the past few years thanks to the short sighted, narrow mindedness of a few clueless people. Everyone (including me) misses the "good ol' days" of having a quality swing club in the valley and, sometimes, the combination of alcohol and highly charged sexual libido's get the better of us and we forget where we are. It's happened to all of us at least once.
However some of us have begun to make it a normal part of their social behavior regardless of where they are and this posses a problem not only for themselves but everyone around them...even ones who aren't part of the group.
At the last meet & greet a group of people in a, unfortunately, highly visible place (encouraged by someone who knows better but thinks they're an exception to every rule) decided flashing boobs and other body parts, nipple rubbing and highly charged grouping and kissing were perfectly OK to do...even after being asked by several staff members (and me) to tone it down. Rather than tone it down they ramped up and decided they'll play in the restroom then which created a line to the ladies room. This, in turn, began a number of cautions against doing that and caused the staff to cast a wary eye on the group and the ladies room door which began to piss the women in that group off. Several other women were cautioned as well because their preceved actions appeard to be heading that same direction which, unfortunately but understandably, offended one of these women for being warned about the occupancy number in the restroom by one of the waitress'.
When several of the offending group were blocked from entering the restroom together they were outraged that someone would prevent them from having fun. So what did one of them do? Express her outrage by taking a shit on the restroom floor! What sort of classless moron does something like that?! Needless to say this woman (and her husband) have been banned for life from Terroir.
The remainder of that group is now suspect wherever they show up not only for all of that silliness but also because they, and several other people, were responsible for shutting down another meet & greet and causing that event to be banned from that venue for similar (and worse) behavior there. Something, at the time of this writing, they refuse to take resposibility for. They claim it was the vanilla people's fault for making such a big deal over what they were doing. Huh? What are they and people like them thinking?! If they're thinking at all.
I, unfortunately, feel the need to say this again...When we all got into the Lifestyle no one gave us a special level of entitlement that allows us to do what we want, when we want, how we want in public places! There are laws that govern our behavior in public and there are no exemptions for swingers listed on any of them (believe me I've looked), in fact there are MORE limiting our actions that people in the vanilla world!
Experiences like the ones mentioned here are one of the prime reasons the vanilla world has issues with our lifestyle! At a time when many of us are trying to build bridges and close the gap with the vanilla world so that we can reclaim the portions of our lifestyle that has been stripped from us over the past few years this is the time to be demonstrating what a classy, stable, elite, worthy of emulation and praise person the average Lifestyler is and that we're not the juvinile, classless, irresponsible bufoons they've always imagined us to be.
C'mon people...get a grip!